Remus Howler
by Tracingdimstars1998
Summary: Instead of being sent to the Dursley's Harry is sent to live with Remus and Sirius! This is their reaction to finding out that Harry flew the car to school.


Harry and Ron were absolutely knackered from their escapade yesterday. They had been flying the car for nearly 9 hours, with only the prospect of seeing their classmates look of awe and jealousy to keep them going. Then, they had lost control of the car and had crashed into the beloved whomping willow that nearly squashed them into tiny pieces, they had lost the car in the forbidden forest and then they didn't get their moment of glory because Snape had caught them and dragged them to his office. They had been given detentions and were now the butt of everyone's jokes in Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Why couldn't they just enjoy their first breakfast back at school in peace?

Suddenly, a large white owl swooped into the Great Hall and landed right by Harry and Ron. The owl then decided to help herself to poor Neville's bacon, flaring her red eyes and snapping her beak whenever he tried to protest.

"Hello Hedwig," Harry said as he stroked her soft feathers. She squawked happily and held her leg out which had a scarlet envelope attached covered in beautiful, italic handwriting.

"Is that a letter from Remus and Sirius? I can't believe you brought it all this way, clever girl," he looked up and noticed that everyone else was staring at him in horror.

"What's wrong?" Harry said confused. Had he said something?

"You've g-got a h-howler…" Ron stammered, his normally red face going chalky white.

"A what?" he frowned slightly.

"Can you please just open the damn thing? It's so much louder and a hundred times worse if you don't" A second year Hufflepuff cried, and ran for the door.

"Look, it's already starting to smoke!" A seventh year Slytherin shouted.

"Maybe it's best if you just hurry up and open it," Hermoine said quietly, masking her fear quite well.

" I ignored one from my gran once," Neville visibly trembled, "It was awful," he shuddered.

"Look guys, it's just a letter from Remus," he said softly, losing confidence with every single word that he uttered.

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Percy Weasley cried, and ripped the envelope open and thrusting it into Harry's hands. He soon followed the second year who had bolted for the door.

Harry stared at the letter for a minute. It was empty. Was this one of their pranks? Why would they send him an empty letter? Why was everyone running from it like it was poisonous-

"_HARRY JAMES POTTER!_"

Harry nearly dropped the letter in shock, everyone in the room covered their ears and visibly winced.

"_HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I EXPECT BETTER OF YOU! WHAT WERE YOU PLAYING AT? THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC IS UP OUR BACKSIDES, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE IN? NOT JUST WITH US BUT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC ITSELF? __**I **__AM ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED! WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN WERE YOU THINKING? YOU AND RON COULD'VE DIED, YOU COULD'VE BEEN EXPELLED! I DO HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU PUT ME AND SIRIUS THROUGH! WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT, WORRIED SICK! I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK WHEN MOLLY FLOOED TO THE HOUSE TO TELL ME THAT NOT ONLY HAD YOU MISSED THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS, BUT THAT THE CAR WAS MISSING AS WELL. WHAT WE WENT THROUGH ALL NIGHT LONG, WORRIED THAT YOU'D BEEN SPOTTED BY MUGGLES, STRUCK DOWN BY LIGHTNING!" _

Harry cowered away slightly. Lupin's usually soft voice had been amplified by a thousand times at least. Hearing it like this was like hearing Hermoine say that she had failed a test or Fred and George saying that they weren't playing anymore pranks.

"_FLYING A CAR TO SCHOOL HARRY! YOU REALLY ARE YOUR FATHER'S SON! WE NEVER THOUGHT OF FLYING A CAR TO SCHOOL IN ALL OUR YEARS AT HOGWARTS! IT'S PURE GENIUS!"_ This time the ear shattering voice belonged to Sirius.

Harry couldn't help it, he started grinning. He loved it when Sirius compared him to his dad, he didn't care that his ears would be hurting for hours now. Any comparison to his father was well worth it.

"_I'M NOT EVEN MAD! I'M SO PROUD! MERLIN'S BEARD I'M SO IMPRESSED-"_

"_SIRIUS… STOP IT NOW!" Lupin growled, warningly._

"_OH COME OFF IT REMUS!" Sirius whined._

"_I'M SENDING HIM THIS HOWLER TO DISSUADE HIM FROM DOING ANYTHING ELSE IDIOTIC, NOT ENCOURAGING HIM REMEMBER?"_

"_OH HE'S JUST BEING A KID!"_

"_SIRIUS! THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING A KID AND ALMOST BREAKING THE INTERNATIONAL STATUTE OF SECRECY!"_

"_OH COME ON, JAMES WOULD'VE BEEN PROUD OF HIM"_

"_HARRY IS NOT JAMES, SIRIUS!" _Remus said impatiently.

"_I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHO HE IS!"_

"_YES YOU DO! I HAD TO BEFORE IT GOES TOO FAR!"_

"_WE WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME BACK IN OUR DAY!"_

"_AND HAVE GOTTEN IN THE SAME TROUBLE, WE ARE TRYING TO STOP HARRY FROM FOLLOWING IN OUR FOOTSTEPS"_

"_STOP TRYING TO MOLD HIM INTO JAMES SIRIUS! IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" _

"_HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!"_

"_WELL IT'S THE TRUTH, YOU'RE LETTING IT GO TOO FAR!"_

Harry watched the invisible, deafening argument go back and forth, not concerned for his level of hearing anymore. The whole school stared in wonder, nobody had ever sent an argument in a howler before.

"_ARE WE REALLY GOING TO HAVE AN ARGUMENT LIKE THIS IN FRONT OF HARRY!"_

"_WAIT, IS THIS ARGUMENT BEING PUT INTO THE HOWLER? BLAST, I THOUGHT YOU'D STOPPED IT FIVE MINUTES AGO, SIRIUS!" _

"_NO FIVE MINUTES AGO YOU SHOUTED, "NO SIRIUS!" AT ME AND BECAME A RIGHT STICK IN THE MUD!" _

"_WELL __**STOP IT. **__HARRY DOESN'T NEED TO BE HEARING THIS CONVERSATION!"_

"_WELL THEN, WE WILL HAVE TO START THE WHOLE THING AGAIN! THAT IS A RIGHT PAIN IN THE-"_

"_NO HEDWIG, DON'T MAIL THAT LETTER. NO WE ARE NOT SENDING IT! HEDWIG, COME BACK!" _

The letter then burst into flames, prompting Harry to yelp and throw it across from him at Neville. His robes caught fire, causing him to frantically run up and down the great hall with his arms splayed out, until Dumbledore cast in aguamenti charm on him.


End file.
